Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
