Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
