Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
