Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize