I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
