Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize