My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
