watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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