he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Vodka?
Forever.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
