yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
