Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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