I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
50% drunk capacity currently
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize