the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
