Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
