Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
