just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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