or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
