how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
