The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
