If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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