I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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