You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
