Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
