I just made out with a guy for $7.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
