Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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