Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
