it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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