The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
