margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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