Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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