Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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