You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
