belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
