I need help removing her.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize