I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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