You work out of a Hotel?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
