You're so nebulous sometimes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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