You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
