Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
