So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just pee around me
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
