May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
