the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
