Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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