You smell like a Billy Joel song
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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