We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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