ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize