Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
