Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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