Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
