can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
