I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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