I just made out with a guy for $7.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
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I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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