Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
