I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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