I'm so fucking centered right now
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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