i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
