New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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