"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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