found the other keg... it's in the tree
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize