Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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