I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
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THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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