I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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