i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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