Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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