Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
