he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
