Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
