I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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