Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
