dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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